I happen to be a Hopeless Romantic.
What I mean is that I truly DO have unrealistic views when it comes to romantic relationships. I'll just come right out and say it. I struggle with the fact that fairy tales, books and movies are NOT real life. For example, the way that Mr. Darcy finally longs for Miss Bennet so fiercely in Pride and Prejudice. In the movie, Ladyhawk, Navarre will stop at nothing to break a curse and be with his beloved Isabeau. The sacrificial, cross-cultural and abiding love of Aragorn and Arwen of The Lord of the Rings. The way that The Farm boy in The Princess Bride, won't give up his belief of True Love and shows Buttercup his feelings by always replying to her requests, "As you wish".
There is this thing inside of me that often longs for it to be the way those fairy-tales are. Yes, I know, they are not that way in real life! But I just can't stop feeling that way. I long for those things in the same way I long for a perfect world. It is because there is beautiful truth hidden in the idea of romantic love that is put forth in fairy tales and such.
It is the kind of Love that endures through any thing.
It NEVER fails.
I have a feeling my wonderful husband, Frank, hates and loves this about me. He has often times been at the mercy of my disappointed and needy emotions when life just gets a little too real and he isn't the "perfect remedy" for my silly notions of romance. Believe it or not, my Frank is NOT naturally a romantic guy, and at times I do feel the need to remind him how much I desperately need a hint of this at times.
God BLESS that man!
But I think he also admires my desire for things to be beautiful and fairytale like. He would probably like them to be "Sci-fi" like, so I think we have a connection there.
We're definitely both dreamers!
So how does a gal keep her feet on this earth and yet long for beautiful romance? For me, the secret has been to find the power in Contentment. To trust in the True Beauty that I have seen in the deep friendship my husband and I share with each other and to cling to those fairytale like moments that still do happen from time to time.
He is above all, my BEST FRIEND.
If I read how the Bible defines love... I would have to say that my Man has measured up these past 22 years in insurmountable ways...the only one who could beat him in loving me, has been my Father in Heaven.
I need to constantly remember the things, which for OUR marriage, define True Love.
There is also no "one size fits all" in finding and keeping True Love!
Our relationship is just that, "ours".
No two love stories should EVER be the same.
What fun would THAT be?
Here is what TRUE LOVE is in our relationship.
*It's when we've been together this long and he knows EVERYTHING about me and still desires me and considers me his best friend.
*How we've BOTH struggled through times of having "feelings" for another person (yes folks, it DOES happen!) and the one we went to for help to work it through, was each other!
*He has never once shown me violence, cursed at me or said anything so hurtful to me that I would have a hard time letting go of it.
*He sees an attractive woman and will appreciate that and not deny the fact that he is a man. But also not linger there, to protect his heart, our marriage and his butt! (Okay, the last part was a joke, sort of.)
*When we were first married, I mentioned that it would be really neat to get a corsage or flowers on special holidays and he does it, to this day, just because I asked!!
*When I have to complain and vent about things, he doesn't judge me for it or tell me how negative I am, but listens and knows that sometimes I just need to "get it out of me."
*I gained over 100 lbs after having kids and it did not change a THING about our relationship. He loved me and treated me the same when I lost that 100 lbs too!
*I went through 86 hours of labor and I KNEW that HE really was the one in agony more than me.
*I had a c-section and afterward, " bodily things" (ahem), started working again on their own and he cleaned me and changed me because I was too embarrassed to allow the nurse to do it and in too much pain to do it myself.
*He loves our children with such a real and true love.
*He gets up every morning and gives Noah his meds and diaper change to let me sleep a little longer!
*He holds me when I just don't know what's wrong. He doesn't offer all kinds of advice... just holds me.
*He will talk things through with me completely, even though that is not his natural way of communication.
*When our son was diagnosed with a serious disability he was and is my steady rock.
*He was THERE through seizures and therapies and surgeries and many illnesses and hospitalizations.
*He has been there for me when friends have turned on me and my world seemed to be falling apart.
*He is a loyal friend.
*He will do things I enjoy that maybe aren't his favorite. Like dancing for instance. He will do these things without being a creep about it.
*He gets up and goes to work and comes home and digs right in with our children, allowing me to have a breather if I need it.
*He allows and encourages me (without guilt) to have fun and to be myself.
*He makes an effort to touch me, because he knows it's my love language.
*He doesn't criticize my shortcomings. Like how I don't cook and am NO June Cleaver, for example.
*He is tender, caring, hot and fun in intimacy!
I will say that there is nothing like enjoying getting to know a partner for over 20 years! (It's worth the wait and staying faithful kids!) He is also shy about it, but I'm putting it out there anyway! hehe
We laugh together, cry together, pray together and have interesting talks about the Spirituality we share.
We grow, together.
We truly see ourselves as One Person.
When it happens, we respect the places where we're growing in different ways.
These are just a few of the characteristics of my man and our relationship that I would truly not trade for all the "Hopeless Romance" in the world.
Because Hopeless Romance is just that, Hopeless.
But True Love is... TRUE.
I hope that where ever you are on life's journey, that you also are finding and living True Love. Whether that be with the Divine Creator, a dear friend, a partner, a sibling, a parent, or even a cat or twenty or a combination of the above...
I have Hope in my husband who loves with True Love.
Now, the next time I'm feeling dejected from lack of "romance"... I'm going to read this first.
THEN I'll go and pester my best friend about it. :)