Monday, August 5, 2013

Hope through the "Summer of Hell"

SUCCESS at a water park after a TERRIBLE experience at one last Summer.

This started out as a Facebook post...
I guess I had more to say than I realized.

I woke up this morning thinking about how thankful I am that sometimes things get better for awhile.
I DO say... "for awhile",
because I know that they can also get
"worse... for awhile" too!!
Such is the cycle of Life.

I usually refer to last Summer of 2012 as
"The Summer of Hell"...
It. Was. Horrible.

Noah was CONSTANTLY hitting himself in the ear/nose/cheek chin. To the point of bruising! Numerous Doctor's appointments, a surgery, Specialists, opinions of others... NOTHING seemed to help him. We were powerless to find out what was hurting him and thus, how to help him!??
We couldn't do anything or go places as a family.

We actually TRIED a family vacation... we ended up having to come home feeling SO defeated.

Holly had some serious issues with anxiety she'd been struggling through. Some new waters for us to navigate as a family. This was BEFORE we realized how anxiety medicine was SUCH a help! (Please feel free to ask me about our story! Our daughter is SO MUCH healthier since we tried medication!!!) Thank you God!

I was still failing miserably at trying to heal from a HUGE "Church" hurt, from a place and people we trusted and considered "family" for 18 years of our life. I could not find peace.

My Mother was in the most pain she'd ever been in. She had a mysterious back problem all Spring and Summer. We finally found out in November that it was a Tumor that would end her life...


But if I didn't have "The Summer of Hell"
I wonder, would I be as grateful as I am right now??? Would I be able to have the pure joy that I experienced when I woke up this morning and realizing that there WAS a worse time? 

I'm so thankful that Noah is SO MUCH BETTER this summer.  His pain mysteriously diminished right before he started school last Fall after one of his front teeth broke through! Who knows with that boy!?? Even though he may have a touch of some mysterious pain or illness or fatigue that will keep him in bed for 2-3 days, he is doing so well and has had ALL KINDS of fun this Summer!

Holly is growing and learning to be an advocate for herself and becoming articulate in stating her thoughts and needs. She has SUCH an empathetic heart toward others. She has learned many things from her times of struggling with fear. I think we can all say that her anxiety is NOT in control of her anymore. The freedom and joy she feels from this realization is so wonderful to watch in your own child!

I continue to heal and to forgive and to let go of how much my "religion" had a hold of me. I like who I am and I try to give myself the same sort of Grace I KNOW I need to try to extend to others. I'm to the point where I'm more thankful for the pain I experienced . It has helped me to see things and to learn and grow.

I have found True Friends, who stick by me no matter WHAT! Who seem to know when they need to reach out to YOU, when you just can't reach out because you're so wounded.
The kind of friend I really want to be.

My Mother, is gone. She passed away in January of 2012, but she is no longer in ANY pain. I trust deeply that her spirit is with God. My Dad seems to be doing so much better than ANY of us thought he would and I'm even getting to know him in a whole new, different and wonderful way!

I would not want to repeat last Summer for anything! I suppose I can look back over my life and see a lot of seasons I would not ever want to repeat. Yet I also know that I would not change those things. They have impacted my journey and who I am and who I am to others.  My husband, my children, my friends and even my "enemies"...

Winston Churchill went through a horrendous period of war in his lifetime. I have hope in this good advice he gave. 

"When you are going through Hell...
Keep Walking!!"




  1. Walking with you, Chris. <3 Keep writing, too! You have the gift of encouragement. I love that line in Brandon Heath's song "I'm Not Who I Was" - where he says, "Well the thing I find most amazing
    In amazing grace is the chance to give it out
    Maybe that's what love is all about" - You have indeed learned hard lessons and you've gained much wisdom and much endurance by enduring much. That's the sweetness of God...letting us experience a few bruises to soften us and mold us into vessels fit for His use. Love to you, Sister!


  2. Thhank you, Chris. Blessings to you and the family. I have been through many seasons of hell in my life. This may be the worst..and there is no end in sight. I am trying hard to keep walking.

  3. Snurf.

    Keep walking. Love it. Though we are walking through the valley of the shadow of death; we hope!


We have this Hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Hebrews 6:19